Persuation

I came home to find Mallory's journal on my pillow.  I am thinking awwww, she missed me tonight and wants to tell me.  ( I was out to dinner with a high school friend and didn't get to put her to bed)  Well anyway, I am bragging to John before I read it that Mallory has left me something that she wrote and that I was conditioning her heart when I punish her. When John punishes, it is in the moment and it is to stop the action, where my approach is to wait until she calms down and then talk about how her actions made me feel.  Anyway, I said to John, see..., she wants to tell me something because I worked on her heart.  John then proceeds to read her entry and it said, "Dear Mom, Can I wear shorts and a short sleeve shirt tomorrow?  Remember... Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you .  You are the best mom I ever had!!! Love, Mallory".  (Previously I had taken away the privilege of picking out her clothes because she had a melt down about what she was going to wear.)  So... is my approach working or John's as for discipline?  That Mallory..., she is going to make a great lawyer one day, or either a great wife!! She can surely persuade.